By Edet Ikotidem
There are basically six stages of a relationship and I know you may have gone through one of them. So which one are you in now?
Falling in love is something that everyone experiences at least once in their lives. When you fall in love with someone, you understand that being in love isn’t a difficult thing.
The difficult part is working to keep the relationship going. Every relationship is unique, which makes it challenging to navigate through them. You can’t always rely on approaches that have previously worked for you and your prior partners.
Relationships, as far as I can tell, go through five stages. The way you address these stumbling blocks will indicate how the relationship will turn out. Many people struggle to recognize these stages of relationships.
However, failing to understand what is going on in your relationship can quickly lead to its demise. When you and your partner are going through these stages, knowing how to identify them and how they affect your relationship will come in helpful.
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Romance Stage
When we fall in love with someone, it’s difficult to see their flaws. We become so engrossed in our fascination with them that we fail to recognize anything wrong with them.
While we perceive our spouses through a perfectionist filter, they see us the same way. But the seemingly infinite dream does not persist indefinitely. This stage usually lasts a little longer than two years.
Let’s go a little deeper and examine the romance stage from the evolutionary viewpoint. Nature sought to construct something to ensure that our species did not become extinct as the human race evolved.
As a result, humans were born with reproductive organs and thinking processes to transmit our emotions to one another. Humans gradually formed the feeling we now call love as nature continued to adapt.
This helped us to bond and build close ties with one another. When we fall in love, though, we often fall in love with someone who would not ordinarily be deemed compatible with us. Although we may think of them as someone who can make all of our wishes come true, they can also do the opposite.
But why would nature want us to fall in love with someone who is so unsuitable? We usually fall in love with people whose personality attributes are diametrically opposed to ours. This permits us to fit together like chess parts.
Puzzle? This person’s positive characteristics compensate for our negative ones, and vice versa. And when you put these two puzzle pieces together, you get a new component, one that the puzzle could never be complete without, a piece of nature that is more durable and likely to survive and assure the human race’s survival.
When we look back, we frequently wonder how we could have fallen in love with someone who was so unlike us.
Nature, on the other hand, wanted us to fall in love and made sure we did by releasing what we term feel-good hormones like oxytocin, phenylethylamine, serotonin, and dopamine. These hormones contribute to a biological process that cleanses us of stressors and fills us with adoration.
This is why it is so difficult for us to see our spouses’ shortcomings. These hormones conceal our shortcomings and drive us to go to any length to keep the romance alive. We’re not exactly lying to our spouses, but we’re wearing an infatuation mask.
Taking off the mask and showing our true selves may cause our spouse to leave, so we keep it on. Knowing this, you can focus on bringing up fairly sensitive things with your spouses, such as whether or not you both want children or want to marry, to avoid big arguments or confusion.
Although the infatuation stage makes everything appear to be perfect and peachy, it eventually wears off. At this point, you may look at your spouse and realize, seemingly out of nowhere, that they are the most incompatible person you could ever imagine.
This usually happens when one of you begins to worry about the bond’s permanence. This could involve solely dating, moving in together, or getting engaged. Or anything else that concerns you about permanence.
This is when the next stage begins.
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The Power Struggle Stage
The Power Struggle Stage is the second stage of a relationship. This is characterized by conflict and tension, as couples may fight over who is in charge of the household. They may feel that they are not on the same page, or that one person has taken control of the relationship—a feeling often referred to as “dominance.”
The Power Struggle Stage can be challenging for both partners because it involves compromise and negotiation between two equally strong personalities. Couples must learn how to work together effectively in order for their union to succeed at this point in time
When we think of relationships, we often envisage the flawless ones we see in movies or read about in books. This leads us to believe that our relationships will never be wonderful unless they are exactly like the ones we’ve seen represented.
Because the peachy keen love you previously had has crumbled before your eyes, this stage produces a lot of tension and pain between partners. We may substitute these missing feelings with rage, which causes additional problems.
We stop focusing on what used to make our spouses appear so beautiful and instead begin to notice only what makes them appear practically disgusting to us. When a couple reaches this point in their relationship, one of them will usually withdraw.
They feel deceived since their lover has transformed into someone who is no longer the person they fell in love with. When one partner does this, the other pursues them by demanding attention, fearful of being emotionally abandoned.
This time is usually quite challenging for most couples; nevertheless, it also provides an opportunity to examine yourself and re-establish your independence.
In the relationship, sometimes this stage takes it all on people and they’ll be thinking that all of the rough was just a waste and it would take too much work to rebuild. Once they had this; couples tend to split apart and ordered to search for somebody who they think would be more suitable for them. This is also the reason why the vast majority of divorces take place during this stage.
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Stability stage
After you and your partner learn to approach each other with your issues and understand your own issues, you know that you cannot change your relationship and have no desire to try any longer.
You see people for who they are, good and terrible, and you’re willing to accept it. Most people would like to settle into the situation of the relationship.
Doing so can make it easier for them; yet, after a while, you may discover that the joy of being in love is fading and you require something unique to keep it alive. Partners generally handle these challenges by sharing experiences and retaining a sense of adventure and relationship.
Also read: The Essence of Traditional Dresses to Nigerians
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The commitments stage
This is the time when couples decide if they want to stay together or not. Couples should make a commitment to each other and work hard on their relationship. If you really love your partner and want to spend the rest of your life with him/her, then it’s time for you both to act like adults and do something about it!
This is also called the engagement ring stage because this is when people start looking for engagement rings. It is a good idea not only because of weddings but also because it will help them know what kind of person they want their future husband/wife relationship with so that they can make sure that those qualities are there in their spouses before getting engaged at all costs…
People generally equate commitment with marriage when it comes to relationships, even though it is not what the stage is supposed to represent. Many couples make the mistake of marrying before this commitment stage of the relationship is complete.
This is the point at which you and your spouse are both ready to marry. You’ve both realized that you want each other at this point. You would understand that you both have flaws and that nobody of you is flawless.
Even though you both understand your flaws, you’ll still choose to stay with each other and fall into an infinite wave of equilibrium.
Many people delude themselves into thinking that because they’ve gone this far and it feels so wonderful that they must ‘work as a team,’ they must sacrifice their own ambitions in life to spend more time with their significant other instead of being lazy and keeping their emotional connection.
The truth is that as long as you’re developing and expanding as a pair, your work is never done. You still need to rediscover each other.
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The Bliss stage
Once you’ve reached this stage, you’ll become consciously aware of your love for each other and decide to step out into the world to demonstrate it, because nature gave you life and the potential to have such a joyful experience together, and now it’s time for you to give back.
Many couples choose to contribute back to society by donating to charities, raising children, helping in the community, or creating a family company; nevertheless, if you and your partner have been together for a long time, you must continue to nurture your relationship so that difficulties do not occur.
All relationships can be difficult; it is sometimes necessary to understand how to handle problems successfully. Falling in love isn’t something that happens all the time, and it’s simpler to deal with the stages of your relationship when you recognize them.
Remember that it’s natural to lose feelings for people and that not everything lasts forever, but it doesn’t mean you have to regret anything. Investing time and effort in nurturing your connection will pay dividends in unimaginable ways
6 The Mutual Independence Stage
This stage of a relationship is when you and your partner are comfortable with each other and enjoy spending time together. You feel independent of each other, but still, enjoy being around each other. This stage can last for years or even decades, depending on how long it takes for two people to get used to being together as a couple.
In this stage, couples begin to spend more time apart than they did previously—but not so much that their friendship becomes strained or that their feelings for one another disappear completely! If you’re in this phase of romance with someone special (or even just another close friend), then consider taking advantage of these opportunities:
- Get involved with activities outside of school/work/other commitments – This allows both parties room for flexibility during times when schedules don’t allow them much free time together
Conclusion
The Romance Stage is the time of your relationship when you are both falling in love. At the beginning of this stage, it is common for both partners to be looking for validation from each other, because they have not yet had enough experience with relationships so they think they know everything there is to know about each other. They also feel insecure at times since no one has ever loved them before which makes them question whether or not their feelings are real or just an illusion created by their imagination, but eventually these feelings fade as reality sets in and both partners begin taking responsibility for themselves instead of blaming their partner(s) for all their problems
