No one has said to move on after a serious heartbreak would be easy. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
If you’re struggling to get over your ex, here are some tips to help you move on and heal your broken heart.
It is said that it takes half the amount of time you were in a relationship to get over them. So, if you were in a two-year relationship, it will take you one year to get over them.
However, this is not always the case and it really varies from person to person. Some people can get over heartbreak very quickly while others may never fully heal.
How to Move on After a Serious Heartbreak
What are the physical symptoms of heartbreak?
There are many physical symptoms of heartbreak such as:
- Difficulty sleeping or insomnia
- Loss of appetite or overeating
- Constantly feeling tired and drained
- Headaches or jaw pain
- Chest pain or tightness
Accept that you are heartbroken
After experiencing heartbreak, you must give yourself a lot of time and space before you can go on.
Accepting that the connection was short-lived and is finished is crucial, even though it might not have gone as planned, Dr. Orloff says.
Be kind to yourself during the process, she advises, even if it seems to be taking a while and you’re tired of taking two steps forward and then one step back.
If you find yourself fantasizing about reconciliation or picturing that tantalizing situation in which he returns to you crawling, just laugh at yourself and push those thoughts away.
You need a distance from your Ex
Maybe you two can be friends again one day but now is not the time. Your heart is still bleeding and seeing or contacting your ex will only make matters worse. Keeping your distance is critical for the healing process to not only begin, but also to be completed, according to Dr. Orloff.
If you still have some of his belongings, have a friend, relative, or roommate stay home when coming to pick them up so you don’t have to see your ex again. Send a friend to retrieve items from the other side too.
Refrain from calling, texting, or emailing your ex to see how he or she is doing or to find out if he or she thinks the two of you made a huge mistake by breaking up. Tell your ex not to contact you again. Delete his or her emails, texts, and voice messages, and do not pick up the phone when he or she calls.
Keeping in touch with him or she now may leave you hoping he or she is considering reconciliation. So get the ex out of your head. Thinking about, seeing, or talking to your ex will only keep you from moving on.
Stop mentioning Him/ Her
You’ll probably need to get everything off your chest at first by discussing the break-up with friends and family. That’s a good thing. Bottling up emotions is not conducive to moving on and can be dangerous
Because your feelings are genuine and valid, discussing your breakup with a trusted friend can be extremely beneficial at first, as long as this friend is not also friends with your ex.
Dr. Orloff suggests that once you’ve let it all out, you try to stop talking about your ex. If you don’t, your friends may begin to avoid you.
Talk about something else or, even better, let your friends talk. They may not admit it, but they will appreciate the reprieve.
Stop putting on blame
After a breakup, playing the blame game will not help you get over it. Whether you blame yourself or your Ex, imagining those painful scenes only serves but reinforcing negative emotions.
So put that chapter of your life behind you and concentrate on figuring out how to move on. Avoid blaming yourself, your ex, or anyone else for what went wrong in the relationship.
It didn’t work out and was most likely not meant to be. Accept that fact and move on to better things.
Learning from the heartbreak is paramount
Absolutely, learning from your mistakes is essential in getting over a breakup. This encompasses the breakup and your entire love and relationship life. Consider what words or behaviors you’d like to repeat in the future, as well as what you’re not proud of yourself for saying or doing.
“Learn whatever lessons the relationship taught you and concentrate on a bright future of love and positive healthy connections,” Dr. Orloff advises.
Consider the exciting moments in the relationship, as well as the unpleasant ones, and what led to the relationship’s demise. Make a note of everything and use it to help you improve your overall relationship skills.
See yourself over it
Consider yourself to be entirely over your ex. This may take some time but persist at it until you have a clear picture of your new existence.
Then bask in your satisfaction for getting over your ex and moving on.
Imagine yourself looking and feeling great, going out and laughing with your friends, and meeting and conversing with new people.
Dr. Orloff suggests that one method to speed up the process is to practice being appreciative of the positive aspects of the relationship. Carry those “gifts” around with you.
Invest in yourself
Before starting another relationship, give yourself plenty of time to focus on yourself. Make an effort to connect with your inner self. Spend time with your closest friends and family members. Take up a hobby, volunteer, or enroll in a class.
Keep yourself busy, but be careful not to overdo it in order to distract yourself from your ex. This will make your “downtime” appear much more excruciating.
Do something to boost your self-esteem, which has most likely suffered as a result of the breakup.
Take it simple
How to move on after a breakup does not imply extensive socializing, meeting hundreds of new people, and flirting.
After all, you don’t want to appear desperate or in need. This could lead to a relationship with someone who wants to control you or is looking for someone to feel superior to.
Relax, take it easy, and have fun – but don’t play hard to get.
Also read: How to Sustain Love
Not everybody is the same as the one you just
broke up with, and not every relationship will be the same, especially if you learn lessons in a healthy way from your mistakes.
Your past relationship ended for a cause, so extend your horizons and look for a new type of connection that is not just different, but far superior to what you had before.
Finally, the most crucial thing to remember after a breakup is to be optimistic. You should know that getting over your ex will make you feel better about yourself and your future.
The stages of grief
The stages of grief are a process that people go through when they experience a loss. These are denial, bargaining, anger, acceptance, and depression.
At this stage, people may deny that the loss has occurred. They may try to pretend that everything is okay and that the person they lost is still alive.
People may become angry at themselves, the person they lost, or the world in general. They may lash out at those around them or withdraw from society altogether.
During this stage, people may try to make deals with God or the universe in an attempt to bring back the person they lost. They may also blame themselves for the loss.
This stage is characterized by sadness and despair. People may feel hopeless and helpless during this time. It may lead to withdrawal from friends and family at large.
In this final stage, people come to terms with the loss and begin to move on with their lives. They might still feel sad from time to time, but they are able to start living again.
How to know you’re ready to move on after heartbreak
It’s never easy to move on after a serious heartbreak. You may feel like you’ll never be able to find love again. But there are ways to know if you’re ready to move on. Here are a few signs:
- You’re no longer obsessing over your ex: If you’re able to think about your ex without getting upset or feeling pain, it’s a good sign that you’re ready to move on.
- You’re interested in dating again: If you find yourself wanting to go on dates and meet new people, it means you’re ready to move on from your past relationship.
- You don’t compare new potential partners to your ex: When you start dating again, it’s important not to compare your new partner to your old one. If you can see the person for who they are without comparing them to your past, it’s a good sign that you’re ready for a new relationship.
- You’ve learned from your past mistakes: It’s important to learn from the mistakes you made in your previous relationship so that you don’t repeat them in future relationships. If you’ve taken the time to reflect on what went wrong and have made changes accordingly, it shows that you’re ready for something new.
Tips for moving on
It’s hard to move on after a serious heartbreak. The pain can be overwhelming and it may feel like you’ll never recover. But there are things you can do to ease the pain and start to heal.
Give yourself time to grieve. Feeling sad, angry, and scared is normal after a breakup. Allow yourself to feel those emotions and don’t try to bottle them up. Cry if you need to, talk to a friend or therapist about what you’re going through, and write down your thoughts in a journal.
After a rough breakup, it’s important to focus on your own well-being. Eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and take time each day for alone time doing things you enjoy doing.
Talk about what happened. If you can talk about what happened with your friends or family, it can help you start to process your feelings and begin to move on. But don’t force yourself to talk about it if you’re not ready or don’t feel comfortable doing so.
Avoid making major life decisions. After heartbreak, it’s best to avoid making any big decisions like moving houses or changing jobs. Give yourself time to heal before making any significant life changes.
Be patient with yourself. Healing is a gradual process and there is no timeframe for it.
The importance of self-care
Self-care is crucial after a serious heartbreak. It can be difficult to face the day-to-day grind after experiencing such a significant loss, but it’s important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally.
Start by establishing a regular sleep schedule and eating healthy foods. Exercise also can help boost your energy, mood, and levels. Make time for activities that make you happy, whether that’s reading, spending time with friends or family, or taking up a new hobby.
It’s also important to talk about your feelings and process what happened in the relationship. Journaling, therapy, or talking with a trusted friend can all be helpful outlets. Avoid numbing your pain with alcohol or other substances.
No one heals from heartbreak overnight, so be patient with yourself. Allow yourself enough time to mourn and heal at your own pace. With some self-care and time, you will eventually feel like yourself again.
Heartbreak is never easy, but it is possible to move on. It might take some time, and you might need to lean on your friends and family for support, but eventually, you will be able to build a new life for yourself.
Start by taking things one day at a time, and give yourself permission to grieve. From there, start reaching out to your loved ones again and get involved in activities that make you happy. Slowly but surely, you will begin to heal.