Premarital Sex
Premarital Sex
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By Salome Akpan

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Premarital sex is referred to as sexual relations between two or more people prior to marriage.

The meaning has shifted to all sexual relations a person had before legal marriage. Alternative terms for premarital sex include non-marital sex, young/adolescent sex, and young-adult sex.

Pre-marital sex can take the form of lesbianism, homosexuality, incest, masturbation, and bestiality among others. Today illicit sex is associated with millions of youths who are unaware of the dangers of premarital sex. Instead of youths worshiping God with their precious time, they waste their time committing sin and destroying their future. Ecclesiastes 12: 4 – “Remember now thy creator in days of thy youth while the evil days come not, nor the days draw nigh when thou shall say I have no pleasure in them”.

Sex is a powerful force that can destroy if not used properly. Like atomic power, sex is the most powerful creative force given to man. When atomic power is used correctly, it can create boundless energy, when it is used in the wrong way it destroys life. Sex is the same kind of powerful force. Sex is the gift from God to give us the greatest pleasure to help in creating deep companionship with one’s spouse and for the procreation of the next generation. But if you play with this powerful force outside the bounds of marriage, it destroys you and those close to you.

Psychological Effect of Premarital Sex

Why are people involved in premarital sex?

There are so many reasons why people engage or involve in premarital sex, some of the reasons include;

Place of no strict values

People find themselves in areas where lifestyles border on committing sin. Places like the ghetto/slums or areas where there are no strict moral values, most of the time form part of the environment where youths learn evil ways fast. Therefore, things like smoking, rape, stealing pickpocketing, pre-marital sex, and having girlfriends are some of the ridiculous practices seen in these kinds of places.

school environment

Pre-marital sex also thrives in mixed schools. Having a lot of girls clustering around, send evil messages with peer groups encouraging one to have sex with as many girls as possible with the assurance that there will be no harm. 1 Corinthians 16:9 “For a great door is open unto me and there are many adversaries” –KJV.

Curiosity

Another reason young people indulge in premarital sex is their great curiosity to explore what sexual activity is all about. They do this without considering the damaging consequences. Here it may take the form of casual sex with one of the partners seeking to experience sex. Especially young people, they’re so curious about trying out new things and it’ll end up not being beneficial to them.

Cohabitation

Cohabitation breeds sexual immorality. This has to do with couples living together in a long-term relationship without marriage. Examples of people that fall into this category are betrothed couples who engage in sexual activity before the anticipated marriage.

Studies reveal that people who cohabit find it difficult to marry for obvious reasons. If that is the case, the question is why young people still cohabit. It must be stated here also that the consequences of cohabitation are life-threatening and therefore should be avoided.

Satan has caused much damage to the youths making them commit fornication. Fornication is premarital sex. Damage that could not be repaired has been inflicted on young promising persons and they have to live with it for the rest of their lives. God knows that there are dangers in premarital sex that is why He wants us to flee from youthful lust 2nd Timothy 2:22 “Flee youthful lusts but follow righteousness, faith, charity, and peace with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart”.

Most premarital sex ends up in pregnancy, sickness, abandonment, or the sale of babies. The rate of abortion has increased because of an increase in premarital sex. Involving in premarital sex is a sin of its own but committing abortion is murder. Almost all of today’s youth must have committed murder before reaching the age of 25. Some of them abandon their babies in dustbins, gutters, and other public places which is an increase to their original sin of fornication. Some secretly sell their babies to ready buyers who use such babies for rituals or resell them to wealthy couples who could not bear their own children.

Sexual activity for young people arrests their psychological, social, and academic development. Studies show that when young people engage in premarital sex, their academic performance declines, and their social relationships with family and friends deteriorate. This is because adolescents are too immature to deal with the explosive sex drive and it tends to dominate their lives.

The majority of women cannot enjoy sex outside the bonds of Marriage. Premarital sex usually takes place sneaking around in hidden places, dealing with the fear of being caught, the fear of pregnancy, and feelings of guilt. All these worrisome factors undermine pleasure in premarital sex most especially in women.

God’s plan gives protection from being put on a performance basis. When put on a performance basis with another person, one is accepted only if he or she acts or does something the way the other person wants. They are respected not for who they are, but for what they do, and their value and dignity are lost.

Also read: Easy Steps to Help You Pray in Faith

A boy says, “I love you if you will have sex with me” or “because you are pretty,” rather than “I love you.” That is conditional love and is worthless for building a committed relationship. Without the committed bonds of marriage, sex is inherently a selfish act done for personal satisfaction or gain. We must continue to please for the relationship to continue and that leaves one in a constant state of insecurity. God protects us from being put on a performance basis by reserving sex for the commitment of marriage.

The emotional baggage that often comes with premarital sex includes sexual dysfunctions in marriage. Many end up in counseling or therapy to deal with problems related to “teenage” sex. Studies have shown that premarital sex also increases the rate of cheating after marriage. Teens don’t know that when they are young, but God knew it when he gave the rules in his “Owner’s Manual.”

Guilt is another consequence of violating God’s standard of chastity until marriage. This has long-term effects on future relationships in marriage and may haunt and affect a person longer than any other consequence. To have the sex act linked with guilt in one’s emotions because of premarital activity causes the joy intended by God for husband and wife to be robbed and clouded. For example, a couple I know has been married over 50 years, and sex has never had any meaning for her. Premarital sex did its damage.

Guilt is an awareness of having transgressed a standard of right and wrong. Or it may be just a lingering doubt of thinking that some action was wrong. Our society is plagued by those two kinds of guilt. The first is moral guilt, which Christians are subject to, which tells us specifically when we have stepped outside God’s boundaries of conduct. It is a conscious awareness of specific transgressions. The other kind of guilt might be called a floating sense of guilt.

One psychologist says “It is indeed amazing that in a fundamentally irreligious culture as ours, the sense of guilt should be so widespread and deep-rooted as it is.” This floating guilt he spoke of comes from a society that says there is no absolute right and wrong. Rather than producing freedom as many claims, they are seeking, such are in constant turmoil. “Are these things I’m doing right or wrong?” These people have no standard, therefore no direction in their lives and are constantly adrift. Yes, they are free — as free as a ship at sea without a rudder. Christians have the Bible which gives direction and guidance to lives and tells of God’s character.

1 Thessalonians 4:3 (for this is the will of God even your sanctification that you should abstain from fornication); 1 Cor. 6:9 – No fornicator will enter into the kingdom of God; Colossians 3:5-6 – Fornicators attract the anger of God against themselves. It is a dangerous thing to fall into the hands of God; Deuteronomy 22:13-21 – Penalty of fornication is death; Matthew 5:32 – The sin of fornication is the only ground on which a man should divorce his married wife. Fornication is a very terrible sin as it affects the body

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