There are many reasons one should stop blaming parents for the misbehavior of a child. Whether you’re a parent or not, I’m sure you’ve heard that lousy child behavior is the result of bad parenting. While this may be true for some rare cases of abuse or neglect, the majority of bad behavior seen in young children during their teenage years and beyond is entirely the choice of the child.
As a culture, we need to stop blaming parents for the actions of their children when they are simply doing their best to raise healthy children! As a parent of a young child myself, and as some of you may understand, it’s hard to hear people falsely accuse you of bad parenting when it comes to wrongdoings in your life. ‘a kid. Read on for some amazing reasons why we need to stop blaming parents and change the way we think instead.
Stop blaming the change
As mentioned in the introduction, the need to assign blame is the most common reason why, as a culture, we blame parents for a child’s wrongdoing. How many times have you seen a child throw a tantrum in a grocery store or react badly in a restaurant with strong words and refuse to listen to mom and dad? I can admit to judging in those situations, even if my son acted exactly the same way! Children understand things in life and make mistakes, just like adults.
They also don’t have the same level of mental ability as adults and therefore feel overly emotional at times when they don’t get what they want.
There must be some degree of sympathy for parents who are simply trying to guide their child’s behavior with appropriate responses, especially in public.
2 focus on the child’s behavior
Often, in an effort to resolve situations quickly, it’s easy to divert attention from the behavior and blame something else. For example, if a child is tired, he may disrespect his parents and it is easy to blame the behavior for exhaustion instead of focusing on the behavior itself. Teaching young children to make excuses for their behavior will inevitably lead to a lack of responsibility later in life.
If she wakes up one morning and is having a bad day, as a parent, are you responsible for her behavior? Certainly not! Instead, as a parent, or even a spectator, believe that the child has a choice to be respectful and kind, no matter how they feel.
Also note that it is just as important as an adult to forgive when children make mistakes, especially when they are not at their best physically and emotionally.
Responsibility for Remuneration
It must be understood that the child is ultimately responsible for his own behavior. After all, most of the time the child has seen appropriate behavior play out in front of them over and over again and knows deep down that it is right and wrong.
As a parent, you must take responsibility for modeling appropriate behavior and acknowledging your mistakes, as well as imposing responsibility on the child for that behavior and as a growing person.
Let go of parental controls and focus on the big picture
When you blame yourself or other parents for their child’s behavior, it prevents the child from viewing their life and development as their own.
This can eventually affect his ability to tell the difference between right and wrong, what choices will help him and what will hurt him, and what things interest him depending on his personality.
Surrender control as parent and bystander by not blaming anyone, but instead reinforcing what good behavior should look like and how bad behavior leads to negative outcomes
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Emphasize responsibility from an early age
When children are very young, it is more understandable to have more patience and understanding, because they discover new things and grow daily. However, a child’s age is no reason to neglect the emphasis on personal responsibility, as it increases the blame placed on others.
If you blame others, yourself, or other things for your child’s behavior now, what will that look like as they grow into adolescence and adulthood? Instead, show empathy for your child by saying that you understand they’re tired and hungry, but that’s no excuse to hit others and be mean. Encourage her to use words and express her needs intelligently. Positive reinforcement for good behavior works much better than yelling or pointing
Know that every child is different
It is also very important to realize that each child is different and has different personality traits, interests, talents, and even difficulties. No two adults are the same, so no two children will react the same way in any given situation. Celebrate children’s unique personalities by encouraging healthy expressions of their behavior.
For example, my son is almost 3 years old, extremely active, and needs constant activity to be happy and obedient. He swims, runs, plays age-appropriate sports, and takes music lessons. Knowing what your child needs to be successful will help with bad behavior issues
Finally, instead of blaming parents and circumstances for bad behavior, recognize that we are all human, including little ones, which means we all make mistakes. Accepting our mistakes and knowing that each day is new and brings new opportunities will really give you life. Forgiveness is the element of healing from blame and guilt.
Forgive yourself, accept your mistakes and change the areas of your life that need to change – slowly and day by day. Remember to verbally apologize to your child and ask for forgiveness if you’re wrong. This will teach them to do the same and grow in humility and responsibility as adults!
I hope these reasons why you should stop blaming parents will inform your own thinking as a parent or as an observer of parents and children. Just know that most parents do their best to raise healthy children and most of the time it feels like an experiment to see what works best for individual needs! Would any of you ladies like to share your own experience?